what?

i don't think i know who i am anymore.

that's bullshit. you are yourself.

that makes less sense.

you've suffered these before. existential crises. temporary loss of orientation.

i sound like a compass.

if you were, you wouldn't suffer these anymore. i blame the post-modern lit you love stuffing yourself with.

it's not my fault.

you are what you do.

stop forcing my words back against me.

i'm sorry. i've become offensive again, when you need the moral support.

what i need is some inkling of what the hell i'm doing. why i'm doing this.

the market for moral support is thin these days.

if i wanted moral support, i'd go to oprah. she'd hug me and we'd be happy.

she'd also hook you up with less scary lit.

it's not what i read.

it's all in your head. these things you read, they manipulate you. they play your mind like a piano. you're a Steinway, darling. don't let anybody with shitty hands carress your keys.

that's ... the cheesiest analogy yet.

i'm trying to help.

well, i'm not a piano. or a compass.

it's a literary device!

i'm not a book, either.

look, you should just go out for a walk. do something physical. balance the ying and the yang, if you know what i mean. your mind works too much while your body just sits on its ass.

so now you've separated me into an it.

this is your problem. you can't escape being analytical. you can't escape analyzing your own-damn-self and deprecating everything you do, which is why you never do anything. really, are you going to end up being the happier for it? you live in your head and you've got this distorted view and expectations of everything. just come join us in our pseudo-reality, please. not everything matters. the reality is, nobody cares. the real conspiracy is, there is no conspiracy. nobody gives a shit. i think i'm plagiarizing somebody else now. but you're, you're plagiarizing train of thoughts. you can't even angst originally.

fuck yo--

and now, look, reduced to slim shady come backs.

beat

beat

why are you turning on me?

i think i hate you.